A mother never forgets….a mother always loves…God blessed me with three beautiful children of my own as well as a step-son. I had all boys, and they will tell you that I remind them often that at least one of them has to get married and give me a granddaughter. I have yet to experience the joy of being a grandmother, and it is my most profound prayer that one day, I will enjoy many grandchildren. I frequently imagine what my mother experienced and the special relationship she had with all 4 of her grandsons. I was the only one of my siblings that was able to give them grandchildren, and they loved my boys with the kind of love that can only come from God.
Before I got pregnant with my youngest, I suffered a miscarriage at ten weeks. I was devastated, as I desperately wanted another child. That desire for a child consumed me. Yet God would hear my cries and would give me Jonathan. Due to the recent loss, it was hard for me to connect with my unborn child for fear of losing him too. Yet, when he was born, and I held him in my arms and could see that he was very much alive and well, I broke down and cried and cried as I held my newborn son. That rift was gone, and I have carried love and a deep bond with and for this young man that will never end – no matter how old he gets.
My youngest son is almost out of H.S. At the time of writing this blog, he has his whole life ahead of him. When I set out to write a song for each of my grown sons (or almost grown), I wanted to express a specific message to each one of them, based on whom God had created them to be, and where they are at in their lives. My youngest is what you have probably heard as “an old soul.” In many ways, he is identical to his father. He ponders and thinks about things that I can barely put into words or even comprehend myself. Things an almost 17-year-old young man probably does not consider. He is a profound thinker, both of philosophical thoughts and questions, as well as spiritual. I know that at this part of his journey, he is finding out who he is as an individual. He has to make his way. As I stated in an earlier blog, my mother helped me raise my boys, and she, as well as I, made sure to train them up to know who the Lord Jesus Christ is and what He did on the cross for them. Yet, I can only guide them on how to go. This choice has to be made by each of them. So, I leave them in God’s hands.
I see all he is going through in this time of self-discovery. So how was I to express this in a song? Many times, having a conversation with him goes so far over my head, due to his deep intellectual thinking, that it is hard to connect with him. He is discovering his musical roots and is my most prominent critic and supporter of getting back into music on a professional level. For this reason, I can relate to him and with him through music. I can tell him in a song the simple but yet most profound truth that he has yet to discover on his own.
So, with the new album “The Return of the King,” I wanted to write a song for all my adult children, to speak to them right where they are. Jonny’s song was by far the hardest to write, as I see he is still searching and finding his roots. So, as my mother did with me, I will do with him as well as all my children. I will remind them who it is that loves them, who died for them so they might live. I will put them in His hands, knowing that God’s promises do not come back void. That when He makes a promise, He keeps it. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. I do feel this can mean to have a Godly moral character. I also believe that if you have trained up your child with the truth of who Jesus Christ is, even when he would be old, he will return to what was taught him. I claim this promise for all of my children. My prayer is that I will be alive to see this come to pass.
Below is the song I wrote for my youngest son, “Do You Remember.”
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