The First Born of A Mother’s Heart

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First Born…

When I look back after all these years, it’s hard to believe that my firstborn son is now all grown up in his early 30’s. It seems like it was only yesterday (as I was a young mother only eighteen years old) when I held my newborn child in my arms. Here was this precious gift from God, who was a tiny extension of myself; he was the most cherished thing in my life. At the time, I was barely old enough not to be considered a child myself; I now had a brand new little life that depended on me. Being newly married and pregnant soon after, God had blessed me with my First Born. We have often joked, my son and I, that because I was so young that he and I had grown up together. 

I also thank God for my mother, who was in the delivery room with me that day; she was my birthing coach, and as a mother herself, she was supporting me in every way a mother should. I am so thankful she was there to see her 1st grandchild be born. If truth be told, she did the necessary parenting of my son to help me ensure he grew up to be a fine young man. At the time, I was far from being ready to be a parent. I struggled with a disability (that God would heal in 2013) that affected my maturity level, my refusal to be accountable to myself, or to others.

So, my son grew up with two very loving mothers, both of whom loved him deeply. My mother and I taught him from an early age about Jesus Christ – that Jesus loved him, and that He shed His blood on the cross for his salvation. The times I did not take my son to church, my mother faithfully stepped up. She ensured that he did not miss Sunday School, Children’s Church, as well as all the vacation bible school classes he attended every summer. Although my mother is now with the Lord, she was and would still be so proud of the man he has become, and the gentle and caring nature he possesses for others; a trait I know we both learned from her. She was the kindest and most gentle soul that could ever have walked this earth, and both my son and I were so fortunate to have had her in our lives.

My son and I have gone through our fair share of severe trials together. And even when I could not be the mother that he needed when he was a small child, I hope that my son always knew how much he was loved and wanted. To this very day, we share a bond that is so deep, and so intricately woven together; the kind of relationship that could only be fashioned and held together by Jesus Christ. It is because of our many ‘trials by fire‘ we have walked through together, that nothing on this earth can or ever will tear us apart.

All of my sons hold a special place in my heart. He is different from my other sons, in the fact that we grew up together. Many of the hardest lessons in life, he and I had no choice but to learn together. In his early twenties, my son went through some excruciating tribulations; without these hard lessons we faced together, he may not have made it through, nor become the man he is today. He and I lived through a life together that I did not go through in many ways with my other sons.

When he was three years old, I wrote a song for him. His song would be the 2nd song I would write and have put to music, as I started on this musical journey, after the death of my brother when I was fourteen. Despite that painful time of losing my brother, my son was the absolute joy of my heart, and I wanted a song to remind the little boy that he was, that Jesus loved him and was always with him. This song simply entitled, Robert’s Song, is on my debut album Best Part of Me, along with my 1st song Jesus Loves You.

Twenty-eight years ago, the ability to create music was not something available for me to do yet; due to financial and technological limitations of the time, things were very limited for me. The internet and new musical capabilities would change all of this for me in 2014. All the things I wrote to my son in that original song (which is a child’s lullaby), I now see in him as part of his character as a grown man; I couldn’t have asked for a more wonderful and loving son.

Now that he is all grown up, and I see who he has become and how he gives to others (many times at the expense of himself), I wanted to write another song for him. I wanted a song that would still remind him of all the things I tried to express in the 1st, original song but which reflects the man he’s become today. This song, however, would not be a lullaby written for a child, but a grown man. No matter how old he is (or any of my children for that matter), they will forever remain my babies deep down in my heart; their mama will for all eternity love each and every one of them.

Below is the music video I created for this 2nd song written for my First Born. It is on my latest album, The Return of the King. Special thanks go out to heavy metal band artist DAN, who wrote the piano arrangement, that accompanies the other musical tracks I created for First Born.

Lorraine – First Born

 

If you enjoyed the song & video of First Born, you can find it on my latest album, The Return of the King. You may also wish to check out my 2nd album, The Good Shepherd, or my debut album, Best Part of Me.

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