The First Born of A Mother’s Heart

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When I look back after all these years, it’s hard to believe that my firstborn son is now all grown up in his early 30’s. It seems like it was only yesterday (as a young mother of just 18 years of age) when I held my newborn child (my most cherished thing in this world) in my arms. At the time, I was barely old enough not to be considered a child myself. Being newly married and pregnant soon after, God had blessed me with my “First Born.” We have often joked, my son and I, that because I was so young that he and I had grown up together. 

I also thank God for my mother, who was in the delivery room with me that day, supporting me in every way a mother should, and to see her 1st grandchild be born. If truth be told, she did the “necessary parenting” of my son to ensure he grew up to be a fine young man. At the time, I was far from being ready to be a parent. I struggled with a disability (that God would heal in 2013) that affected my maturity level, my refusal to be accountable to myself, or others. There were things that I could not grasp on my own accord. 

So, my son grew up with two very loving mothers, both of whom loved him deeply. My mother and I taught him from an early age about Jesus Christ – that Jesus loved him, and that He shed His blood on the cross for his salvation. The times I did not take my son to church, my mother faithfully stepped up. Ensuring that he did not miss Sunday School, Children’s Church, as well as all the vacation bible school classes he attended every summer. Although my mother is now with the Lord, she was and would still be so proud of the man he has become, and the gentle and caring nature he possesses for others. A trait I know we both learned from her. She was the kindest and most gentle soul that could ever have walked this earth – aside from the Lord Jesus Christ Himself.

My son and I have gone through our fair share of severe trials together. And even when I could not be the mother that he needed when he was a small child, I hope that my son always knew how much he was loved and wanted. To this very day, we share a bond that is so deep, so intricately woven together – fashioned and held together by Jesus Christ. It is because of our many “trials by fire” we have walked through together, that nothing on this earth can or ever will tear us apart.

He specifically, along with all of my sons, contains an exceptional place in my heart. His position in my heart is different from my other sons, in the fact we did grow up together. Many of the hardest lessons in life, he and I had no choice but to learn together. In his early 20’s, my son went through some excruciating tribulations. Without these “hard lessons” we faced together, he may not have made it through had we not gone through many of these things together. He and I lived through a life together that I did not go through in many ways with my other sons.

When he was three years old, I wrote a song for him. It was a song, to remind the little boy that he was, (of whom was the absolute joy of my heart) that Jesus loved him and was always with him. It would be the 2nd song I would have wrote at this point in my musical journey, and it would also be the 2nd song I would pay an artist to put music to the melody & lyrics I had created. Currently, this song is not available on my debut album “Best Part of Me.” However, my 1st song is on the debut album entitled “Yeshua Loves You.” At a later point in my life and musical career, I may choose to remaster his song and make it available to the public. 

Twenty-eight years ago, the ability to create music was not something available for me to do yet, due to financial and technological limitations of the time. The internet and new musical capabilities would change all of this for me in 2014. All the things I wrote to my son in that original song, I now see in him as part of his character as a grown man. I couldn’t have asked for a more wonderful and loving son.

Now that he is all grown up, and I see whom he has become, and how he gives to others (many times at the expense of himself), I wanted to write another song for him. A song that would still remind him of all the things I tried to express in the 1st, original song written so long ago, but reflect the man he’s become today. This song, however, would not be a lullaby written for a child, but a grown man. No matter how old he is (or any of my children for that matter), they will always be my babies deep in my heart. Their mama profoundly loves every one of them.

Below is the music video I created for this 2nd song written for my “First Born.” It is on my latest album “The Return of the King.” Special thanks go out to DAN, who wrote the piano arrangement to this song, to accompany the other musical tracks I created for “First Born.”

Lorraine – First Born

 

If you enjoyed the song & video of “First Born,” you can find it on my latest album “The Return of the King.” You may wish to also check out my 2nd album “The Good Shepherd” or my debut album “Best Part of Me.”

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